GREATEST NEWSPAPER ONCE 

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Computer Chip Fossil Found

A polymer resin and ceramic artifact was recently found in Peru.   Scientists confirm that it is a fossilized computer flash-type memory chip.   It is from an early Inca Native South American archeology site.   Read More - Computer Chip Fossil

 Carbon dating proves an alien craft crashed 550 years ago at the site. The chip survived a kind of a plasma-photon blast. The chip and a few fragments were the only things found out of the big bang that blasted the craft to shreds.

Over Machu Picchu
Andes Mountains - Inca Artifacts Find

 Japanese investors bought the artifact from an anthropologist after reading about the outlandish claims in the Asia Inquisition, a trashy tabloid newspaper. Studies show the chip works.

 The government confirms a patent was granted for a combined type of flash processor and room temperature memory chip (RTM chip), capable of 995 trillion transactions per millisecond (TIPS). It stores all the data you want to keep and it can store human memories.

 News of the patent shot tech stocks to all-time highs. The chip is low cost to make and can power at-home supercomputers for everyone. It can replace your brain. The possibilities are endless. The new RTM chip will retail for $69.95.

Consumers will love its capacity and speed. “The RTM chip renders all computers and programs to date as obsolete,” Japanese guys scoffed. Technology seems to move quickly, but this shatters all records of advancement.

 “It’s really cool. I will be able to run 90,000 processes at once. I will get lots done,” explained Joe, a happy 25 year old tech geek. “I already have two CRTs (computer screens) for my left eye, and two CRTs for my right… Now, I’ll have a supreme machine to hack into trash.”

 Politicians threaten Japan with huge tariffs if its new chips unfairly take unfair and obscene advantage of all the tech markets. Opponents fear Japan will spy and put secret back doors into the chips.

 The alien and Inca connection is the last thing to report on in the frenzy to build new apps with the chip. “I marvel at how the alien connection has not even bugged people one iota,” says a paranormal researcher at Lupine University.

 History buffs point out how Incas were the first to have the alien memory chip and it should be returned to them. The investor is said to be willing to share its profits with Peru’s indigenous tribes.   ▰   Click to Close

 
Comet Tells of END Times!

  Comets now days warn how end times are upon humankind claims Pastor Dick Eioh of Orono, Maine. Dick hosts a bible decipher webinar group. Groups meet weekly by invitation only.  See More - Comet Scare

  A master stained-glass artist and part-time pastor urges, “Say your prayers, and fast.” His shtick is that our life adventure is a garden where we sow and grow spirits.

  Pastor Dick, as his so-called friends call him, is a graduate of the Anti-Divinity University (ADU). The ADU school focuses on “heaven on earth” and afterlife theology.

  An anonymous “official” suggests, “Groups that warn of dire consequences and poor outcomes should be ignored.” People do not have time to ponder eternity.   ●   Click to Close

Humor.. like beauty
Requires cognition.

Alien Screams Shocker!

The prospect of alien abduction is not only the subject of science fiction books and magazines. A psychologist studies people who claim to be "abductees." Dr. Iverson at the Helsinki University (HELU) confirms it is a real problem.   Read More - Alien Screams

  "More people now complain about being kidnapped by aliens while asleep in bed," he says.

  Iverson released an mp3 audio recording with the horrifying stories of patients who under hypnosis recall vivid and distressing encounters. The stories are told in Finnish and an English version should soon be available in time for holiday gift giving.

  The screams are from memories caused by the un-Godly implants and painful probes that aliens must have put into the captive abductees.   ▪  Click to Close

 
















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